Losing Lily
by JustSitBackAndWatch
Summary: But seeing her standing there, so broken and angry, his heart shattered. Goodbye, Lily. Written for the 'Just Dialogue/Description' challenge. R&R!


_**Disclaimer:** I don't own HP. Shame._

_**A/N: **Written for the Just Dialogue/Description challenge. I'm not keen on this, honestly, but I _so _wanted to use dialogue ... but then I wouldn't have completed the challenge. Oh well. It's better than nothing, right? Anyway, enjoy!_

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From the first day he saw her, he knew. He knew she was the one. Of course, at that time, he didn't _know_ that he knew she was the one. He just had this tingling feeling in his stomach that told him such.

They had been through everything, Severus and Lily. He had seen her in all stages and emotions. He'd listened to her rant over Potter, watched her mourn silently over the death of her pet cat, been her shoulder to cry on as she sobbed over Lupin. He had been the one who she showed the mean letters from Petunia to. He was the one who was given the dazzling, toothy smile every morning at breakfast.

Everything about her mesmerised him. Her hair, so fiery and free, so vibrant and joyful. He loved how the colours danced, depending on the lighting. He loved how the sun bounced off of it, lighting it up even more. Those green eyes, so full of life and emotion. He loved the way they sparkled when she laughed or darkened when she was angry. He loved all the various shades of green captured within them. He refused to call them emerald, that was too predictable. He liked to call them _Slytherin_, because he knew she hated being compared to Slytherins, and he loved to tease her. He loved how powerful and stubborn she could be, how action-packed and hyper she could become, despite her tiny figure. He adored how bossy and rule-abiding she was, always telling the Marauders off for pulling pranks long before she had the power to do anything about it. He admired the determination and intelligence that practically radiated off her being, how she always knew everything at the appropriate times.

He loved how she over-thought and over-analysed everything, thinking them through one too many times, being so unsure of her answers. He respected her strict study schedules and helped her follow through with them. He loved how she ran her hands through her hair and bit her lip when she was nervous or stressed. He adored the little frown that always settled in place as she was reading, her eyes dancing excitedly as she soaked up the new information.

Overall, he loved Lily, and everything that was her. Even her flaws, he loved. The fiery temper; the scar on her cheek that she'd had since she cut her face on the corner of a particularly sharp table when she five; the way her eyes were slightly out of proportion, wide and seemingly too close together; the clumsiness that caused her to constantly knock things over at inappropriate times. He loved it all.

But seeing her standing there, so broken and angry, his heart shattered, the sharp edges splintering his insides. She was screaming at him, telling him to leave her alone, telling him it was over. His heart broke more as he stood there, biting his lower lip as he allowed himself to be yelled at. He knew he deserved it, after all. Just weeks ago, he had called her a Mudblood, the word falling from his lips accidentally. And now here he was, supposed to be asking for forgiveness, but instead letting her shriek and accuse him.

Because she was right. He shouldn't have called her a Mudblood, but he _did_call other Muggleborns such when he was with his Slytherin friends. He was in the wrong, he didn't deserve her forgiveness or her friendship (or, he decided sullenly, her love), he didn't deserve having her in his life any more. He'd pushed the boundaries too far, tested the limits, crossed the line. And now he'd lost her, forever. He knew she wouldn't come back, no matter what he did to try and win her over, because she was gone. Really gone.

She stopped talking, noticing his lack of reaction. Breathing heavily, she told him to go away. She did so quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears of fury, her cheeks flushed from the screaming. She looked so beautiful when she was angry, Severus thought as he stared at her wordlessly. Then again, in Severus' eyes, she looked beautiful all the time.

In the same subdued tone, he told her he was sorry, though he knew a simple apology wouldn't make up for what he had done, but he felt obliged to say it anyway. He lent forward and pressed his lips against hers quickly. It barely lasted half a second, it was over so quick that only the tingle on his mouth confirmed he had done it at all.

And because he was a Slytherin, a cowardly wimp, he scampered. He turned on his heel and ran, not waiting to see her reaction (which, he knew, wouldn't have been good). He ran from the anger and the hatred and the rejection. He ran from Lily, from his past, from love. Ever since that moment, he made an unspoken promise to himself that he wouldn't open up his heart again, nor would he intentionally harm someone who meant something to him. He didn't know if the promise would be kept, but he knew he would try his hardest.

As he collapsed onto his bed in the cold, underground dormitory, only one thought consumed his mind.

Goodbye, Lily.

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_**A/N: **Well, there we go, just a small ... thing. I hope you enjoyed it more than I did. (:_

_Would it be too much to ask for a review? Even if I said 'Pretty Please With a Severus Plushie and a Potions Set on Top'?_

**Watcher. x**


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